everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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