I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
