so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
