Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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