I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
