mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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