after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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