? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
