No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
