I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
