last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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