I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize