all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
