You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
