I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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