Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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