i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
