i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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