he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
