If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
