i can't believe i had my finger in that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am available for nakedness
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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