Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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