He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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