If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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