Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I would fuck him just for his dog
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
