Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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