my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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