I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
