Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
