he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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