i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
