it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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