ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
