last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
