oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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