i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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