dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
