I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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