I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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