nutella sex= disaster
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
