is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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