Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
