I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
