I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
