we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
