i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
