Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
