I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize