The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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