Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
