i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
