you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
