Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
