i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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