He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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