Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
