i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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