just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
birth control should be required to get into college
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
