She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize